The Care & Maintenance of Love, Part 1

Recently, I wrote that love is a choice.

Yet in my office, I spend hours counseling men and women whose partners have told them that they no longer love them. The news is devastating and perplexing, and with a sense of hopelessness, they feel distraught.

We often talk of falling in and out of love as if love is something magical and mysterious and out of our control. It’s much like how we think of happiness; some see it as a matter of luck.

In my series, A Hundred Days to Happiness (, I’ve shown how much of our happiness is within our control. In spite of the challenges of life, many have discovered enduring happiness – through intention, attitude and action.

Love is a flower that requires daily care, but because it is shared by two, it requires both to stay alive, thrive and bloom.

When we begin a relationship, love is in full bloom. Most of us don’t realize what we have to do to keep it that way. We never learned that regular maintenance required. We didn’t get any instruction manual.

Next Post: Cognitive Therapy for Couples

About Davidicus Wong

I am a family physician. I write a weekly newspaper column, Healthwise for the Vancouver Courier, Burnaby Now, Royal City Record and Richmond News.
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