The Privilege of Fatherhood

32 years ago, my life changed forever and for the better. In a flash, my identity, meaning and purpose in life were transformed.

My wife gave birth to our son, Ryan – our first child – two days before our third anniversary. 

In an instant, we became parents – and a family.

I was struck by the awesome privilege and responsibility of being a parent – to care for a helpless infant and to nurture his physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing as he grew up. I would learn what it truly means to love unconditionally and to put the needs of others above my own.

Though my parents taught me well as a child, my greatest teachers in adulthood would be my patients and each of my three children.

My parents strove to make the best choices for us as children based on what they knew at the time though some of their decisions weren’t the best in retrospect. I understood that my wife and I would also do our very best for our children and sometimes make mistakes.

Parenting requires patience. My dad was a fine example. He would drop everything and even get out of bed to give us a ride whenever we needed him. I vowed never to begrudge my role as a chauffeur. I learned to appreciate that extra time together.

Of course, I would turn those drives into teaching moments though not always successfully. On the way to a football game, I gave Ryan the best birds and the bees talk. My pride was deflated when he removed his airbuds having not heard one word. 

Rushing to an elementary school concert, I admonished the kids, “I got home early from work, Mom made a quick dinner and now we’re late. Whose fault is that?”

“Kinda yours, Dad,” Ryan responded. “This isn’t the way Mom drives us to our new school.”

Parenting requires humility. Though our toddlers see us as Supermen, when they become teens we become goofier than Clark Kent. 

If the teen years are particularly stormy, we can feel humiliated.

Though our children will challenge us, they can also inspire us. My son, Ryan is a gifted and determined athlete, and this inspired me to discover my own athletic potential.

My son, Adam has made the lifestyle choices of a vegetarian diet and cycling for transportation because he cares deeply for the wellbeing of all living beings and our world.

My daughter, Sarah has always been thoughtful, sweet and kind, and the love she gives to others reminds me of my own mother’s compassion and love. 

There is a special joy and wonder seeing the world through the eyes of our growing children. I now appreciate another level of joy seeing the wonderful loving adults they have become. 

This Fathers’ Day, I thank all fathers who have given their best in raising their children with love, humility and patience, and I am grateful for the privilege of being a father to my own children.