This pandemic has put our relationships to the test

by Davidicus Wong, M.D. February 21^st, 2021

The pandemic has put many of our relationships to the test.

To reduce the spread of infections, we’ve had to connect with our friends at a distance, virtually by phone, text, social media or video. 

The elderly have been hit hard by both the virus itself and the social isolation required to reduce its spread. 

Many in our community feel shut in. Family and friends may be able to drop off groceries at the door, but the close presence of others for those hours we once took for granted are sorely missed. Some have no family nearby to help. Many have become depressed, missing the last remaining pleasures of a long life. 

One thing my wife (and our dog) have appreciated most is that our kids are home all the time. They’ve been able to study and work from home. No matter what my workday brings, I’ve enjoyed our family dinners, evenings and weekends together.

But I know, this has not been a blessing to others, who may feel trapped in their own homes. Difficulties in family relationships may be amplified by confinement at home. 

Others struggle to find shelter during these cold winter days and nights. The homeless are more vulnerable to mental and physical illness in addition to COVID-19. 

If you or someone you know is struggling with relationships or difficult emotions, talk to your family doctor who can support you and connect you to resources in our community. Burnaby Family Life offers counselling to women who have experienced trauma due to abuse and violence and to children and youth who have witnessed domestic violence or any type of abuse. Check their website at burnabyfamilylife.org or phone (604) 659-2200.

Cameray Child and Family Services is a community-based agency committed to the strengthening of individuals and families through a spectrum of services including counselling, education, outreach and advocacy. Check their website at cameray.ca or call (604) 546-9449.

Burnaby Neighbourhood House offers a wide range of programs, services and events (vitually during the pandemic) bringing together community members of all ages and backgrounds in a positive and supportive environment. Check their website at burnabynh.ca or call (604) 431-0400 for South Burnaby and (604) 294-5444 for North Burnaby. 

In Burnaby, our community organizations have been are working together throughout the pandemic through our Primary Care Network. To discover a variety of resources available for those in need, check burnabycoronavirus.com.

I’ll be giving a free online talk on The Positive Potential of Our Relationships at 7 pm on Thursday, February 25^th, 2021. As part of the Burnaby Division of Family Practice’s Empowering Patients public health education program, I’ll be sharing practical ways to foster healthy relationships and social connections during this pandemic and beyond.

For more information, please check https://divisionsbc.ca/burnaby/for-patients/empowering-patients or email Leona Cullen at lcullen@divisionsbc.ca

What We Learned From The Pandemic: Relationships Matter Most

One day (that I hope will be soon), we’ll be together with dear friends and family, sharing long overdue embraces. We’ll catch up on all that we’ve missed and share stories of how we survived. 

Someone will ask, “What did you learn during the pandemic?”

What will you say? What have you learned?

“I learned how to wear a face mask.” “We learned that we should have been wearing them all along.” 

“I learned how to wash my hands – over and over and over again.”

“I learned how to shop and order dinner online.”

“I learned to Zoom.” “I learned to unmute myself when I had to speak, and I learned to mute and turn off my camera when I had to go to the bathroom.”

“I learned that my colleague wasn’t having a bad hair day when her camera was off throughout our strategic planning session. She was catching up on emails.”

“I learned how well I could look after my patients by phone and video, while recognizing that virtual health is no substitute for a thorough physical exam.”

“I learned that video is terrible for looking at rashes and that most people can’t take focused photos of the moles they are worried about.”

“I learned that my coworker has a cat.”

But the most important lesson of this pandemic is the recognition of what really matters in our lives. What have you missed the most?

Sure we missed celebrating holidays, dining out, going to parties, window shopping, going to the mall, travelling to new places, eating popcorn in a movie theatre, dancing and attending live entertainment. 

But what really matters – what we’ve missed the most – are the people who make life itself enjoyable and meaningful. 

When this pandemic is finally over, the world will celebrate and we will party even more than we did in 1999. We will have each compiled an impressive post-pandemic “to do” list.

But we will have learned that our new priority will be our “to be with” list.

At the end of the day, at the end of this pandemic and at the end of life, what matters most are the special people in our lives. The relationships we’ve neglected and taken for granted for many years deserve our attention each day.

Our distractions have changed as we’ve coped with this global crisis. My hope is that we will never forget the greatest lesson of the pandemic. 

We need one another. We each need to feel understood, valued and loved. We need to express our love by being present, listening well, speaking with kindness and acting generously. We need to embrace our loved ones.

I’ll be giving a free online talk on The Positive Potential of Our Relationships at 7 pm on Thursday, February 25^th, 2021. As part of the Burnaby Division of Family Practice’s Empowering Patients public health education program, I’ll be sharing practical ways to foster healthy relationships and social connections.

For more information, please check https://divisionsbc.ca/burnaby/for-patients/empowering-patients or email Leona Cullen at lcullen@divisionsbc.ca

Dr. Davidicus Wong is a family physician.

For more on achieving your positive potential in health, read his blog at davidicuswong.wordpress.com.

While you’re surviving the pandemic, don’t forget these screening tests

While the pandemic remains a topic of daily concern, we’ve witnessed the more silent epidemics of social isolation, mental illness and drug overdoses. I’m bracing for a tsunami of preventable cancers and diseases.

Share this post with your near and dear, and we may just prevent that tsunami.

Most of us haven’t seen our family doctors since the start of the pandemic. Most telehealth calls are reactive (in response to acute symptoms) as opposed to the foundational preventive and proactive approaches to your health.

I’ve included a short list of recommended screening tests designed to diagnose problems early while they are more manageable and in many cases curable.

Screening tests are recommended for the early detection and treatment of particular medical conditions in individuals of average risk and no symptoms. For example, the stool or fecal immunochemical test (FIT) is recommended as a screen for colon cancer for adults over 50 to 74 years of age every two years. If it is positive (indicating a source of bleeding in the large intestine), the next test is usually a colonoscopy (in which a flexible scope is inserted into the anus and used to see and remove polyps and other growths in the large intestine).
However, if an older adult has obvious blood in his stools, his physician will likely arrange a colonoscopy without the need for a positive stool occult blood test. If another individual with no symptoms has a family history of colon cancer, the first surveillance colonoscopy should begin at an age 10 years before the age at which the relative was diagnosed. For example, if a woman’s father was diagnosed with colon cancer at age 52 and her sister was diagnosed at age 48, she should have her first colonoscopy at age 38.
These are the screening tests for other conditions:

High Blood Pressure: For adults 18 and older, blood pressure should be measured at every appropriate medical visit (e.g. annually) and of course this has not been possible during the pandemic. Most drug stores have removed their blood pressure machines due to infection risks. Once hypertension or high blood pressure is identified, the patient and doctor will discuss the appropriate frequency of rechecking blood pressure. For a list of reliable home blood pressure monitors, check the Hypertension Canada website https://hypertension.ca

Cervical Cancer: The pap smear is a sample of cervical cells taken during a pelvic examination, but please note that a pap smear is not necessarily done with every pelvic exam, which may have been necessary for pelvic pain or a possible infection. A woman should always clarify with her physician what tests were done during each examination. Women should start pap smears at age 25 and continue at a frequency of every three years (or more frequently depending on the recommendations of the B.C. Cancer Agency which interprets the pap smears and sends reports to the physician). Women 70 years and older may stop screening after 3 successive normal paps in the previous 10 years.

Diabetes: The fasting glucose blood test was formerly recommended as the screening test for adults over age 40. The confirmatory test was the two-hour 75 gm glucose tolerance test. The newest recommendation is the Hb a1c blood test only in high risk and very high risk patients based on the FINDRISC or CANRISK calculators. Those found to be high risk for diabetes should be screened every 3 to 5 years; those at very high risk every year.

Breast Cancer: Monthly self-examinations and annual clinical examinations by physicians are no longer recommended. Screening mammograms are now the only remaining screening test and the Canadian guidelines recommend them every 2 years in women from age 50 to 74.

Prostate Cancer: The standard screening test is the annual DRE (digital rectal examination). Don’t be fooled by the name; it’s not high tech imaging. It’s high touch with your doctor’s gloved finger checking the size and shape of the prostate. The PSA (prostate specific antigen) is a blood test to detect levels of a protein produced by the prostate. It may be elevated by benign enlargement of the prostate or by prostate cancer. It is not generally recommended as a routine screening test, but each man should discuss the value of this test with his family physician as it has to be interpreted in conjunction with the rectal examination. An abnormal PSA may result in investigations and treatment that may cause more harm than a slow growing prostate cancer that may not otherwise affect the patient. 

Call your family doctor today, if you’re due for a screening test. 

I’ll be giving a free online talk on The Positive Potential of Our Relationships at 7 pm on Thursday, February 25^th, 2021. As part of the Burnaby Division of Family Practice’s Empowering Patients public health education program, I’ll be sharing practical ways to foster healthy relationships and social connections.

For more information, please check https://divisionsbc.ca/burnaby/for-patients/empowering-patients or email Leona Cullen at lcullen@divisionsbc.ca

Please note that these screening tests are based on the current consensus guidelines in Canada. Ask your own primary healthcare provider, which screening tests are appropriate for you, your personal medical history and your family history.

On Monday, February 1st, I spoke on Global News: Health Series: Regular annual checkups and screening tests